It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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