Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
