All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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