You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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