I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
