Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
