Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
