She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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