Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
