Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
worst night to have a conscience
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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