We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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