that's an acceptable place to lick
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
