Don't you send me to vm
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
