On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We have so much sex to catch up on
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's shark week go big or go home
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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