ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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