Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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