So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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