yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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