there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I could fuck to npr.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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