Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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