can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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