you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
