Screwed.edu
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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