she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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