the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
