How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
