Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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