Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
