you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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