My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
