I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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