there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think my moral compass just broke
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
