Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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