this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
