plz talk dirty to me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
