found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
