We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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