he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
