Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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