she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
