Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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