I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
