I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
