spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
