youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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