If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
