i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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