Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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