she was so not down for the gang bang
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
