you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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