Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
