I'm laying in your front yard are you home
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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