I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I faked an abortion last night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
