I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
